Looking Back & Looking Ahead

This post has been a long time coming. Some days I've been too busy to blog; some days I just didn't feel like it. It seems I have way too much to say one minute but can't think of it the next. Let's start with a look back at the crazy year called 2010.

As the year began, we were in the middle of our home study (having applied in November 2009). I had my physical for that in January. Ironically, I was almost not a current patient of my doctor because it had been so long since I had been there. I just don't ever go. No serious issues, and I don't go for colds and such. Within about a week of that visit, I started having heart palpitations. It completely scared me. Not just because it was my heart, but honestly I was afraid it would jeopardize all the work we had done on the adoption. So far I've had an ultrasound of my heart, a nuclear stress test, and two emergency room visits with one overnight stay. I even spent Christmas and New Year's wearing a heart monitor. So far, they have not found anything wrong. Several people around me think it is purely stress. What stress? We're just your typical family of four living month to month on a teacher's salary in a very small house. Sure, we're trying to spend about $36,000 we don't have to bring home two girls from Bulgaria, but what's stressful about that? I'm not sure how two more kids fit into the budget or the house, but still... My husband is completely stressed with teaching, but that doesn't affect me, right? My boys are perfectly behaved angels who keep their room clean and do their school work without complaint, right? Honestly, when doctors have asked me if I have any stress, I want to say, "I breathe, don't I?" I mean is there a person on the face of the earth who is actively living life who doesn't have stress?

Okay (deep breath), I'm starting to rant and rave now. Back to blogging. Bottom line, it has been a stressful year made worse by wondering why my heart is working weird. Plus it would leave me really tired at times so I couldn't do anything. Now, I got the monitor off a week ago, and I don't think my heart has done anything strange since then. Go figure. You've heard of a 24 hr virus? It's as if I have had a 1 yr heart palpitation bug. PRAYER REQUEST: As soon as the cardiologist clears me from this monitoring period, I am going to join Curves. I REALLY need to lose some weight, and I know it will help the stress, too. Pray that she does give me the green light to move forward with this.

We started yard sales again in the spring and ended the year with a total of 23 sales since we started fundraising back in the fall of 2007. While I am very appreciative of the money we raise doing yard sales, I just wish I was a "yard sale-er". Personally, I hate yard sales. But sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Just this week, we finally got all of the yard sale clothing put away. It seems almost pointless since we'll be getting it all back out in 2-3 months. But hey, I feel like we did something toward cleaning the house.

Summer started with vacation!! The kids had so much fun. I'm thankful that my memories of the trip are generally positive because I remember a few times that my heart was racing, and I was so afraid that I would have to go to the hospital in a strange place with no one to keep my kids. Fifteen states in thirteen days...no stress! Seriously, the boys are very good with travel and enjoy it as much as their dad.

Late summer, Tim had knee surgery for torn cartilage. Next I had a sleep study to see if I had sleep apnea. I had hoped this would solve the heart mystery. I did have mild sleep apnea, which would explain the exhaustion in the mornings, but it didn't seem enough to cause the palpitations. In October I had wrist surgery for a ganglion cyst. Four weeks later, I had nose surgery to straighten a severely deviated septum (that happens when a ceiling fan falls in your face!) and to take care of some minor sinus issues. We also hoped this would help with the sleep apnea. The last measure taken for the sleep apnea was to get fitted for an oral appliance to sleep in. Never thought I'd be sitting in the orthodontist's chair again! Not to be outdone, Tim also had a sleep study done. He, of course, was much worse than I. He is currently adjusting to his CPAP machine. And since I had had two surgeries and he only one, he had to have gum surgery during Christmas break.

I am so tired of keeping track of doctor's appointments. There were some weeks when I would have 3 in the same week. I really feel for someone dealing with a catastrophic disease. I feel my situation is SO not serious by comparison, but it is tiring just the same.

On the adoption front, we finished our home study and our dossier, even though you may recall it took 32 weeks or so to get my fingerprints approved by the FBI. We were officially registered with the MOJ on December 6. YEA!!! One milestone reached. Now we just wait, right? NOT! If we were to miraculously get a referral soon (and everyone hopes to be the exception), we don't have the money to back up a "yes" response. I did apply for two different grants. One has already denied us. The other keeps postponing us month to month. That's better than being turned down, though! OBVIOUS PRAYER REQUEST: Effective fundraisers and additional income. I would so love to be able to add to our income while not compromising our homeschooling. Any ideas that don't involve salesmanship? I'm trying to turn into a couponing mom, but so far it hasn't worked.

Finally, just a couple of hours after I finished my last post, we got the call that Tim's grandmother had passed away...91 years and 1 week old. We were thrown into the whirlwind of planning arrangements for the funeral in Kentucky. We had a lot of counseling to do with the kids helping them deal with it and then had to face Thanksgiving and Christmas without her. All in all, the holidays went very well. The kids readily understood that Granny was a Christian and therefore in Heaven with Jesus. She had gone downhill fast in the last month or two, so it was comforting to know she was completely healed and happy...and that we would see her again. Colton became a Christian in 2008. Eli prayed to accept Christ about a week or two after Granny died. Thank you, Jesus!

This brings me to the Looking Ahead part of this post. On the health note, I already mentioned joining Curves soon. I'd also like to go in for allergy testing. Long story, but my dad had lots of unusual allergies to foods and chemicals. While being tested at an allergy hospital, he had an apple, and it made his fingernails turn blue and his heart rate dropped. So I don't discount the notion that my heart palpitations could be an allergic reaction. Dad didn't have allergies until he was an adult. I guess they have to start sometime. On fundraising, I guess we will continue offering the ones we have already done. We will definitely be having yard sales. I'll also start working again on more grant applications. I did finish my medical transcription course last year, but that looks like one more way I misspent money. I hate when that happens, and I think, "That could have gone into the adoption fund!" I know we will need to start soon updating paper work. Both of our medical letters have expired by now as well as Tim's fingerprints. I'm a little scared to start the fingerprinting again. I don't want to spend all year on it.

For the kids, Colton is moving right along with his taekwondo. He just earned his green belt in December. Both boys took piano lessons away from home during the fall semester. For money's sake, I've talked them into letting me teach them. Colton is being much more cooperative this time around. Eli has never had lessons with me and is complaining a lot so far. Eli also talked us finally into getting him a guitar for Christmas. Now I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of paying for lessons...is he ready?...and trying to teach myself and in turn teach him. There may be a full-sized guitar on my birthday wishlist. (His is a half size.)

Well, if you have stuck with me through this long post, I've taken up enough of your day. I hope to blog more often in shorter installments. We'll see...

Much Going On

To catch you up, we did get my FBI letter and a few other documents all made official and sent off. Because they dragged in late, our dossier is still in the registration process. But, any day now...

I recently had to have wrist surgery (ganglion cyst), so I've not really been up to blogging. I also think our yard sale season is going to have to close for the year. I thought we would make it to a grand total of 25 (for the entire adoption process), but it looks like we have stalled at 23. I'm sure there will be more next year. (Yay?) Now I have to find a place to store everything until next year. We really want our garage back!

School is going well...okay, most days are good days. I recently instituted my own Sonic Rewards Fridays. Eli was being so slow about getting ready in the morning, and Colton was having trouble getting finished in a reasonable amount of time. It was like pulling teeth--first one in the morning, and the other at the end of our day. So, I set up 2 small white boards on the fridge, listed the days down the left, and made two columns labeled "Start" and "Finish". Here's the deal. If they are ready for school before the alarm on my phone, they get a star. If they finish everything before we quit for lunch, they get another star. Ten possible stars in a week. If they earn 6, 7, or 8 stars, I take them to Sonic on Friday during Happy Hour for a slush. If they earn 9 or 10 stars, they can upgrade to an ice cream cone or cream slush (while those are half price). So far, we are doing WAY better.

HOLIDAY FUNDRAISER
In a push to raise money before we get a referral, I'm reinstituting the "Party Contest" fundraiser. If anyone is interested in participating, it's really very simple. You host a party: watch a movie, play games, do something specific...or not. Each guest brings $10. You can either ask guests to bring a snack or pay for the snacks out of the money collected. The money can then be sent to us. There are details on our website from the last time we did this. Prizes were involved for the most sent in as well as for everyone sending in $150 or more. Please check it out. (Link to our website here.) I've not yet updated the pdfs, but the info on the page should be up to date.

VACATION FUNDRAISER
Here's a new one. We are using our vacation club membership as a fundraiser. You can link to a page on our website for some current specials. The details are there, but basically you get a great deal on your accommodations. For the price we charge you, we pay for the condo and the fee for booking a trip for a non-member. Anything left over goes toward our adoption.

Correction and Update

Okay, I must have been very tired last night. I completely lied about Eli's being born at 33 weeks. As I recall, he was born 3 weeks early, not AT 33 weeks. It sounded good last night to compare the FBI to that, but I realized today that it was an accidental exaggeration. On a more ironic note, though, I saw that Tim's FBI letter will be expiring very soon. Oh boy. Here we go again.

While I have you here reading, I'll give a bit more update. I got all of my papers apostilled today. They are ready to go in the mail tomorrow to our agency. From there, on to Bulgaria they go.

I have been so focused on finishing the applications, finishing the home study, finishing the dossier, waiting for the FBI, and fundraising. Now that the waiting (and, of course, fundraising) is imminent, I feel myself getting nervous. What will the girls be like? Will we all get along? Will it take a long time to feel like a family? What if they don't like us? What if they are scared of us or where we live? Can I really handle this? Will I ever have the house in order enough to make room for two more kids? How will I homeschool four? I don't know if I am prepared for travelling. I've never been on a plane or out of the country (except to drive into Canada for 5 minutes back before passports were needed). Can my boys handle our being out of the country for a week...twice? I sometimes still can't get Eli to go into his Sunday School class and stay.

Anyway, the alternative (not adopting) just isn't an option. The boys are anxious for the girls to get here. I want them here (and I want the yard sales to stop). Most of all I want to be obedient to God, and I really feel that He is the one who has led us to this place. I don't know what all He has in store for our family, but I do know that if we don't follow His lead, we will miss out on the blessings He had planned for us. The ride has been especially bumpy this year, but it just makes me hold on tighter to the One who knows where we are going.

FINALLY

Well it "only" took 32 weeks to get my FBI clearance letter! (Funny, it only took 33 weeks for my second child to be conceived, developed, and born!!) It arrived on Saturday during Yard Sale #22. Today I took this letter along with 3 other documents that have expired while we waited and had them notarized and certified. Tomorrow I make the trip to Nashville to have them apostilled. Next they are off to Bulgaria as quickly as possible so we can be officially registered.

Next we wait and try to raise BIG BUCKS!

Yard Sale #21

That's right. We completed yard sale #21 today. This is the 10th this year, but the 21st since we started raising money for this adoption. We have now raised over $4000 just on yard sales items. Today was our biggest one-day sale ever! We even did better than some of our 2-day sales have been.

I haven't heard yet if we are officially registered in Bulgaria. We were told that we should have been by the end of August. I will probably email the agency on Monday just to see if it is official yet. I'm both excited and nervous at the thought of being registered. I'm anxious to have the girls here as soon as possible, but I know we don't have the money yet. I would so hate to delay bringing the girls home just because the money wasn't ready.

Photo Op

Yesterday I was finally able to talk to a friend who has just been home a couple of weeks with her 3 1/2 year-old daughter from China. When I got off the phone, I was explaining to the boys (who are just dying to meet her) that they are still adjusting. I could tell from the blank looks on their faces that they weren't quite understanding. So, I elaborated by telling them that for one thing, she was waking up at night and probably wondering "Where am I? Where did the lady go that usually takes care of me? Who are these people who talk funny?"

We left it at that and went on to their piano lessons. After we got home, Eli saw his camera on a shelf, asked for it, and started taking pictures everywhere. When Tim came in from school, he asked Eli what he was doing. Eli said he was taking pictures of the house for Keely and Mattie. Apparently he planned to send these pictures to Bulgaria for Keely and Mattie so that when they come home, they won't feel like they are in a strange place. What a sweetie! He even opened the fridge and took pictures of the inside.

Both boys seem to have the girls on their minds more lately. Makes me proud of them.

Another Small Step; Another Big Plan

Our dossier is out of translation and should be registered by the end of the month. Because of various summer complications and temperatures over 100, we have not had the kamikaze yard sale season we thought we would have. Perhaps we will be able to have Saturday sales until Thanksgiving or something like that.

We are working on our application with Both Hands for a major fundraiser this fall. If I haven't told you how it works, here's the condensed version. We put together a team who sends out letters asking people to sponsor them. BUT, instead of sponsoring them in a race or walk or something like that, they will be spending one Saturday working on a widow's house. That's why it is called Both Hands. In one project, one hand helps the widow while the other helps the orphan. Our first problem is that we don't know a widow that needs this help. If you know of one in our area who would be willing to help us by letting us help her, PLEASE let us know.

The second issue is that we are supposed to have a foreman to oversee all of the projects. We don't have this either. So, if you can help or recommend someone...... you get the picture.

School is now underway. Tim has finished his first full week with students. The boys and I have finished two weeks. So far, so good.

To those of you who have asked about our adoption progress, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. You don't know what an encouragement it is for you to simply ask how it is going...and then stand there politely while I give you an update that is a little too long. Thanks for letting me vent.