Christmas Break

Even as a homeschooler, Colton is very excited about Christmas Break. He can't believe that we won't do any school work for 2 whole weeks! I keep harassing him with questions like, "What's the matter? Don't you like your teacher?"

Eli...

December has been quite busy already. Eli's choir sang at church a couple of weeks ago. He was so excited to get to sing on stage. He went around singing his songs for us all week prior. He looked so cute dressed up as an angel with the other 3 and 4 year-olds. Then 2 minutes before the service started, he came running to the piano (where I was prepared to start playing the welcome song). He was crying for me to hold him. I held him through both of his choir's songs. He sang a little from my lap, but refused to get up on stage. It just about broke my heart because I knew how excited he had been and how in about 5 minutes it would all be over...possibly until next year. No second chances later in the service; no "redo" next week or next month. I tried frantically to get him to settle down and get on stage. I wasn't sure if he was just having a typicall "mommy meltdown" (which he does often) until he finally mentioned being scared. I guess stage fright really did get him after all. I had to apologize later for fussing at him to stop crying, and I made a big deal of telling him how proud I was of him for being in the choir and learning his songs and singing well during the rehearsal I saw.

Colton...

Colton's choir sang the following week (last week). I felt pretty certain that he was old enough to stick it out (he refuesed at Eli's age too), but now we had the extra anxiety over a solo. He had the entire first verse of "Joy to the World" all to himself. I was so scared he would get scared. But, he pulled it off like a trooper! Needless to say, I was so proud of him.

Then the week of losing teeth began. Tuesday night after going to bed, Colton got up with his mouth bleeding. One of his top front teeth looked really close to coming out. We worked on it for a while and reluctantly sent him back to bed. (The mom in me was naturally afraid it would come out in his sleep and he'd choke on it.) Wednesday we worked on it some more and nervously sent him to bed again with it still barely in his mouth. Thursday morning he was eating breakfast and suddenly spit his tooth out in his hand and handed it to me. We got all excited, took pictures for the Christmas card, and went to Memaw's house so she could see his missing tooth. In retrospect, I did notice that the other top front tooth looked a little funny. It seemed to be at a slightly odd angle. Losing the first must have freed up space for the other to loosen a little. Then just after supper, my 3 children (Tim included) were wrestling while I cleaned up the kitchen. Yep, Eli's foot and Colton's mouth made contact. He came in the kitchen holding his mouth. I asked to see it, and when he moved his hands, there was blood everywhere. After rinsing the blood away, I could tell the top of his tooth was pointing left and the bottom was pointing right. I'm thinking, there is no way I can send him to bed with this one. So, for the next 2 or 3 hours we sat on the couch watching TV while I wiggled his tooth back and forth or in circles and twisted it 4 or 5 full turns in each direction. As bedtime approached, he went to eat a snack. Once again, he stopped mid snack to hand me his tooth. So two teeth in one day! Naturally, we had to retake the Christmas card picture Friday morning. You can't send out a picture with one missing tooth when there are now two missing teeth!

Now, we head into the weekend for my choir's Christmas program. I've been sick with a sinus infection/cold/throat mess/cough for about a week. I'm hoping it will leave at least long enough for the program. I can be sick again next week, but I just don't have time right now.

Let me end with a few prayer requests for you...

• Anna Grace is recovering from having her tonsils and adnoids removed.
• Debbie had her baby yesterday/today (a girl) 3 months early.
• Keely and Maggie need to come home to us. All we need is the money to go get them. (Paperwork is slow when the money isn't there to back it up when finished.) Pray that I can finish my medical transcription course and get some work right away.
  
  

Give Thanks

I know everyone is making their "Thankful List", but here is mine anyway. I wouldn't dare rank my list of things I am thankful for, so in no particular order, here we go...

1. Jesus Christ, my Savior
2. The Christian home I was raised in; the Christian home I have now
3. My Godly (and handsome) husband Tim
4. My beautiful and long-prayed-for children and the hope of more to come
5. My country (in spite of its faults, it is still the best...not perfect, but great...etc)
6. My church and our new pastor and his family
7. My house is warm, sturdy, and leak free
8. We have two vehicles that are currently running.
9. I can homeschool.
10. I bought groceries this week even though there was still food in the house.
11. My family and I are healthy.
12. Our closets overflow.
13. I have all five of my senses.
14. Music
15. Breezes
16. Bats (Okay, that's for Colton. We've been studying them, and he thinks they are the coolest.)
17. All of creation, really.
18. Sleep
19. Friends
20. Our neighborhood

Every night we have family prayer time just before going to bed. As we have taught our kids to pray, we didn't want them to sit down with their updated Wish List and run through it. So, we've really not taught them yet how to ask for things. What kid needs to be taught how to ask for something he wants!? Instead, we focus on being thankful. Even if they don't feel like praying, we prod them to at least say Thank You for one thing. I prompt Eli this way..."Dear Jesus, thank you for..." and then I encourage him to think of something on his own or I suggest things like being thankful for his brother or for something he got to do or for friends visiting.

This past Sunday our pastor challenged us to begin our prayer time with thankfulness and thanking God for everything we could think of. I looked at Tim and mouthed, "We'd never get the kids to bed." It's true. The entire Internet would be depleted of space, if I listed everything that I am thankful for present and past. The list above is a mere sliver of how my heart thanks God. I truly try to thank him in "all things" as the Bible says.

I don't always understand his ways, but I do trust that he is always in control and can work any situation to our good and His Glory. I don't understand why my years in education were miserable ones, but I'm sure there was a reason for that experience. Maybe it has simply made me a better homeschooling mom and more understanding of my husband who is still in the educational trenches. I don't understand why my dad had to have cancer or why he is already in Heaven, but I do thank God for showing us a miracle when He healed the cancer, and I thank God that Dad lived 14 more years after being given about 6 months.

I don't understand why Tim and I have such a desire to be generous to others and yet our bank account won't exactly support the habit. Or why we have the desire to open our home and our hearts and our lives to two little girls, and yet the funds to make it happen aren't exactly pouring in. But God's ways are not our ways. We have human minds that are limited to understanding things in this world. As long as we live on this earth, we can never completely understand God's ways. We know Him and love Him, but there is always more to Him. I'm glad He's the one in complete control...I know I don't want the job.

Oh! I just thought of a new one. I'm thankful for bloggers. It has been so cool to follow blogs of other people I know (and stay caught up) or to read blogs of people I meet (as a quick way of getting to know them) or to find blogs of people in various stages of adoption (so I can learn from their experiences or ask questions).

So, thank YOU for reading this and have a sincerely thankful Thanksgiving. And even after the turkey is gone, try a little experiment. Thank your spouse for even the little things. ("Thanks for getting the kids' coats on them." "Thanks for getting the mail.") Teach your kids thankfulness by expressing thanks to them ("Thanks for picking up your towel." "Thanks for coming when I called you.") When you are comfortable saying "thank you" at home, try randomly thanking people each day outside of the home. Thank the janitor at work for keeping the bathrooms clean. (You didn't have to do it!) Thank the store clerk when she gives you your receipt. Ladies, please thank a man if he opens a door for you! Encourage them to continue showing courtesy. Just think, if we spent our time being thankful, would we have as much time to criticize?

Starting the Paperwork

It looks like we are going to change agencies after all. We will be using Christian World Adoptions as our placing agency and Heaven Sent Children as our home study agency. I believe this will be better since HSC is local, and CWA is a lot less expensive (but still with plenty of credentials, experience, etc.)

I have been working on the paper work sent to us from HSC. I hope to finish it by Thanksgiving. We are still short on the fundraising, so I'm not sure when I will be able to send it in. I had wanted to finish the homestudy before applying with CWA so that we could go ahead and start applying for grants, but it looks like we may have to also show that we are clients of a placing agency when we apply for those grant.

I know the entire adoption process is mostly about waiting, but I'm getting so impatient about waiting to start waiting. It is so frustrating (and almost down right depressing) when I realize that we began researching adoption over 18 months ago. If we had started something then, we might actually have a referral by now, or better yet we might have our girls home. Why does it have to be so difficult just to get started? I keep praying that once in the process things will pick up--fundraising will be easier, maybe I'll be doing some medical transcription by then, the process will miraculously not be as lengthy or difficult by then, etc.

Please pray that I will be able to stay focused and get each step systematically completed as quickly as possible.

The Happy Post

I promised you a "happy" post this time, so I'm going to start with Halloween. We never bothered with Halloween until moving to our current neighborhood. Colton was too young to care before that, and Eli wasn't here yet. When we moved here, though, we discovered the child-like fun of Halloween. The kids will dress up this evening. I will take my place on the porch steps with a big box of candy. All the neighbors sit on their porches or in their driveways to give out candy. Tim and the boys will roam down one side of the street and back up the other. When the candy begging is done, we will gather with a bunch of neighbors next door for a cookout.

On the adoption front, please be in prayer. I am still re-researching agencies. I thought we were all settled, but I'm not so sure any more. One is way more expensive than the others. Does that necessarily mean better or that the others have hidden fees? Another is only 4 years old. Maybe they have more passion because they are fresh, or maybe they lack experience. One tells us that Bulgaria is reluctant to allow 2 children to be adopted at the same time because there are so many families wanting to adopt. I don't think I buy into the "one per customer" theory. Another tells us that Bulgaria will adopt 2 children as long as they are siblings. Another won't let us request siblings. Still another agency says you can adopt 1 child, siblings, or 2 unrelated children. It is so HARD to sort through it all. And this is not something that a person can already instinctively know something about. As has happened several times now, I think I am zoning in on an agency to choose. My prayer right now is for wisdom and discernment.

On yet another topic, have you ever read "This Present Darkness"? If you haven't, you absolutely must. First let me say that yes, I realize it is fiction. On the other hand, (to those who have read it), don't you think there's a chance that prayer works that way? It makes sense to me. Okay, for those who haven't read it yet (and I'm not going to spoil the story), here is an idea what I am talking about. The basic story line is realitively simple: a bad guy is taking control of a town. Told you it was simple. The twist is that one minute you are reading about the bad guys or the people in the town, but the next minute you see the spirtual side of the unfolding drama. Angels fighting for good. Demons trying to take people down. Now here's the best part. The angels are not allowed to fight on the offensive unless they have enough strength to win. Where do they get their strength? The prayers of "the saints." So if the Christians aren't praying enough, the angels can't fight. When the Christians are praying, the angels are unbeatable.

Now, I say all of that not just to recommend a good book but to make a point as well. Early voting has ended. Only one day of voting remains. All you can physically do is cast your vote. But that's not ALL you can do. Everyone says, "Pray for the election." Everyone says, "It's okay. God is in control." Yes, I believe God is in control. That doesn't mean He won't let America collectively do something stupid. Yes, He can work all things together for good with either choice. But I also really believe we need to make sure that the angels working this side of the globe have our constant prayer support. I say this to me as much as anyone. Let's see if we can get beyond, "Lord, be with the election," or "Let your will be done in this election." We need to cry out to God about this election and many other aspects of our nation right now. Whether the end times are imminent or still a thousand years away, our nation as a whole is not glorifying God. We need to take that back. I'm concerned about what kind of nation we are leaving to our children. It is already so much harder to raise my children in this time period because it seems like a huge chunk of society has no concept about the things in my value system. If we would take the focus off of self and turn it back to God where it belongs, we would see many areas of society that would suddenly be corrected. Are you ready to fight for what you believe in?

Just Wondering Out Loud

As you may have noticed, I've not done a lot of updating on our adoption. That's because we have come to a painfully grinding halt. There is a sweetheart of a lady at church who brings us 5-10 dollars almost every week where she has sold a couple more of our pizza cards. That's as fast as the money is getting raised. Do the math. Even at $10 a week (and counting the money we've already raised), it will take us 78 YEARS to raise this money. I think we can all agree that I'll be too old by then.

I know our God is in control. I know our God can literally do anything. I know our God still does miracles today...I've personally witnessed a few. I know that if God wanted, He could just add $45,000 to our bank account right now, and I'd find it in the morning. But I also know that God allows His people to have free will. And He often gives people an opportunity to participate in what He is doing. If they choose not to participate, He will either accomplish His will through someone else (allowing them to receive the blessing), or He will allow the mission to go unfulfilled.

Now, when there are 143 million orphans in the world, I can't help but think that if I don't adopt my 2 girls, then there will be two more girls who never get adopted. After all, there is not a waiting list for all children.

I hope you aren't hearing whining here. I'm not. I'm frustrated, yes. I don't feel we've gotten the emotional or financial support that I had anticipated. I still feel the need for more children. I still feel called to adopt. Because of the major lack of financial resources, we are rethinking our adoption plans. We're back at square one, you might say...saying "yes" to adoption but trying to figure out the details. We wanted to adopt 2 girls from Bulgaria. Maybe we need to reconsider international and look at domestic. Maybe a different agency would be less expensive. Maybe we should try to adopt just one (at least for now). How old can we be and still get this done? Should we reconsider the age range or other details of the child we seek?

I'm reminded of a story from the Bible. (I can't give you the reference because I'm doing this off the top of my head. But I think I have all of my facts straight.) Remember when Moses sent the 12 spies to check out the land up ahead. I forget what nation they spied on, but they came back with 10 negative reports. Only two men (Joshua and Caleb) said that the Israelites should move forward and take the city. God's plan was for them to take the city. Joshua and Caleb agreed, but most people were not supportive. Did God go ahead and take the city anyway? Did God send someone else to defeat the city? Did God let Joshua and Caleb take the city and everyone else just missed out on the victory? No, the entire nation (Joshua and Caleb included) were punished by having to wander another 40 years before coming back to this point and taking the city after all. Do you see the correlation? Just because God can cause His will to happen in spite of our disobedience, it doesn't mean He will. Even if He brings us back to this point 40 years from now, it will be too late for us to do the adopting. As I said, I know God can move $45,000 our way in a heartbeat, but if we don't pick up our fundraising participation (or find a fundrasier that actally does all that it claims), it may never get done.

Can I just stop here and turn this into a prayer request? We are praying for clear direction in every step of the process. We are praying for increased income so that we will qualify to adopt two. We were close at one time, but the babysitting ended. Right now I am enrolled in a course on medical transcription. Hopefully this will be one way to work on that income thing. Finally, we are praying for direction on fundraisers. It seems like most of what we have tried so far has not been very successful. We still have more than enough bracelets and pizza cards for sale. We are praying to be surrounded by people who understand our desire and support us. We are praying to come into contact with people who have been moved to help out. I know people adopt all the time. It can't be this hard for every family who adopts.

Tune in next time for a "happy" post. ; )

Vacation Time

Our vacation is officially over. : ( We decided back in February that we would use Tim's Fall Break as a chance to take the boys to Florida. They've never seen the beach before. Of course, they would have been happy in a town of 400 with nothing "to do" for 600 miles around as long has the hotel had a pool. Still, they loved the beach! And they were so good about the drive. I was so tempted to see if we could borrow a portable DVD player or buy a cheap one. But we survived another vacation drive without it. They took a few toys, their DSes, coloring books, and white boards. They took a nice long nap going and coming, we looked for water towers, and I even read aloud a little bit.

Their favorite activities would have been running on the beach, swimming in the indoor pool, and pushing the buttons on the elevator. My favorite activity was eating out. We decided to spend most of our money on eating out rather than local attractions because we figured the kids would mostly want to swim anyway.

Here's the view from our room...

Here are the kids. Colton is enjoying a pop-up sun shade that one of our neighbors loaned us while we were loading up the van. (I love our neighborhood.)

A New Pursuit and New Pets

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to bring in more income. I'm enjoying the bookkeeping, but I only have a couple of clients, and I don't have time for "pounding the pavement" trying to find new clients. Also, every client's situation is so different from everyone else's, and while I want to do bookkeeping only and no taxes (in spite of the fact I took a tax class), the two are so interwoven it's crazy. So, while I hope to keep my "couple of clients", let's see what else I can do...


That brought me to considering medical transcription. I've seen so many ads for medical transcription, that I begain to think it must be a scam or something. And some of the ads could have been. But the field itself is legit. I've talked with a few people with medical jobs and done a lot of research on the Internet. Now I have signed up for a course, and I'm very optimistic about pursing this. I'll let you know how it goes. If you have any personal insights, please pass them along.

Onto the pets. You'll remember that we recently named a hummingbird who has adopted our yard. Kylene is still doing well, but I expect her to head south soon. Last Friday night, though, was the Fall Festival at Tim's former school. Since this was the first year he didn't have to work it, we took the boys and simply attended. Colton arrived intent on winning fish. We found the booth that was giving fish away as prizes. He got 5 balls to throw at a bucket. For every shot he made, he would win a fish. But he missed all 5 shots. Naturally, Eli wanted to play since his brother did. Being smaller, he got to stand behind a piece tape that was closer to the bucket. He made 2 of his shots! Colton seemed to take it well from the very beginning, and Eli generously agreed that Colton could have one of them. So now we have 2 goldfish: a gray one named Nemo and an orange one named Yoda. The boys were spending the night with Memaw that night anyway, but Tim and I were up quite late as we headed for the pet store and Wal-Mart to buy a fish tank, fish food, and all the accessories we would need. We had already decided that if these two went belly-up, we would let the boys just go pick out some more fish. So far they are doing very well and actually seem happy in their new home.

Don't forget:

• I still have bracelets for $8.
• We have cut the price of the pizza card from $10 to $5. (Remember, you could easily save over $200 with these cards.)