Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Day 2 (Tuesday) - A Sneak Peek





We were told not to post pictures until we actually get home, so this is just a sneak peek.  For those who have seen their pictures, you may notice that Milcho's hair is longer, and Vanessa's is shorter. 

 We had most of the day to ourselves.  We spent the morning trying to keep them out of the kitchen.  They are not used to having free access to all the food, and they want to eat it all the time.  It's kind of like going on a cruise.  You're not starving when you go on board but it's there all the time and looks new and inviting.  We also had quite a bit of practice with "no".  Vanessa thinks it is quite funny to be told not to do something (or TO DO something).  At least at first.  If we persist (which we do), she then may stomp her foot, fuss, etc.  If that doesn't work, she may start crying.  But at some point in the process, she gets distracted and is suddenly  and miraculously fine.  So we just hold out until the distraction.

You know how we have "central" heat at home?  Well, here they have truly "centralized" heat and the government has not turned it on yet for the winter season.  Meanwhile, you do have small units installed in the wall near the ceiling in each room.  It's a lot like having space heaters, I guess.  So far, none of ours work, and tonight it is supposed to be 32 degrees.  By lunch I had on my shirt, fleece vest, hoodie sweater, and rain jacket, and I was pacing trying to warm up.  Now I admit, I am excessively cold-natured, but even the kids were wearing their jackets. (Update: After some advice this afternoon from another couple traveling this week, we have them working a little.  Still cool, but I'm not visibly shivering.)

After lunch, we had to go for the medical check-up.  Not a big deal, but a very long wait in a very small space that actually got hot.  We were dropped off again at our apartment and headed out for supper.  We decided to pull out all the stops and jump in head first...we went to McDonald's.  They seemed familiar with it already but not completely at home.  While we were there two Roma kids were run out and came back in the side door.  They were going through begging.  For the most part people just "didn't see" them.  Milcho and Vanessa wanted a McDonald's doughnut for dessert, so we got them on the way out.  The walk back to the apartment was now very cold.  I noticed once that Milcho did a double take at a man we passed who was going through a dumpster.  I wondered what he was thinking. (Earlier while driving, I saw a man at a dumpster with a liter juice carton turned straight up drinking from it, and then he threw it back in and kept looking.)  I wondered if Milcho, even at his young age, thinks about how his life could have turned out so differently.

As bedtime drew near, something happened with Milcho.  I'm still not sure what, but we hope our translator can help us straighten things out tomorrow.  I think there was a misunderstanding about his using the phone.  We knew he was waiting for a call from his teacher but asked him not to make any other calls tonight...just wait for that one.  His teacher called about 30 minutes later than expected, and when Tim took him the phone, he refused to talk to her.  Then he wouldn't talk any more to us.  Long story short, the situation was smoothed over, somebody called him, and he got ready for bed seemingly satisfied.  In the meantime, Vanessa and I had another battle of the wills -- we've had several small ones, but this one was on the heels of all the others and lasted a really long time. Basically I was trying to convince her that while I love her, she still needs to listen to me and do what I say.  Her reaction to this was "no" and I think her version of "never!"  I held my ground through her tears (and eventually Milcho's) and then fell into tears myself once the fit was over and they had both calmed down and gone to bed.  I didn't mean to cry and tried not to let them see, but honestly I was exhausted myself.  When they saw my tears, they seemed very concerned and snuggly.  All I could do was assure them that I love them and that everything was okay.

I never expected them to be perfect.  I know we have quite an adjustment ahead of us.  Hey, my bio kids aren't perfect either.  But simply put, that was hard!  --on everyone!  But I truly believe in my heart they are worth the effort.  Now, I'm even more tired, and I'm going to bed.

1 comment:

Chris Haven said...

Hi just started reading your blog while in bulgaria. Sounds like our son, he sometimes want to be in control so he will say no to something he asked for. This might be the same thing for your son. He was probably disappointed about not getting the phone call when he thought it was coming, so he wanted to be in control and declined it when it came. That would be my guess with the phone call. Sounds like you are doing a great job, just be consistent, they will test you but they want you to be consistent just like your bio kids.